I look forward to our twentieth anniversary this coming December. For the last few years, I had been telling my friends and loved ones that I expect that by our twentieth anniversary, Greg and I will have the legal right to marry. I visualized it, dreamed on it, believed it and so it became so. This special anniversary will mark many milestones and we'll have so much to celebrate and be grateful for. Upon our marriage in the state of New York on July 23, federal benefits were afforded us which included health coverage for Greg--for the first time in his life. One week and a day later, the diagnosis followed which stalled any celebratory plans for our marriage. Our days and weeks became cluttered with doctor appointments, hospital stays and long periods of waiting--followed by a long period of adjustment, visualizing health and healing. September 26, we received the good news that the "C" was gone and that Greg's recovery into healing was going well. Tomorrow morning we head back to Blodgett Hospital in Grand Rapids for a final surgery and we will be able to finally say we're on the home stretch. I'm happy. Greg's happy.

I look forward to finally getting our life back. I look forward to planning a huge celebratory event next year, a wedding complete with family and friends. I have a new vision, that by next summer Michigan will recognize our marriage as it should--making it whole--federal and state recognition of our union; it's a matter of reasoning. Among so many of my gay coupled friends, calling one's partner "husband" has always been considered a term of endearment among inner circles of other gay-coupled friends. It's only been recently that I've been able to wrap my head around the fact that I'm now Greg's legal husband. I haven't just a partner--which isn't as concise. The term "partner" has never quite defined our relationship accurately enough, never gave it justice. It doesn't give full recognition to what we are to one another. Greg and I are not business partners. To thee, my husband; there's no ambiguity in it. It's amazing and it feels good. It's right and just.

It's wonderful to be getting so many invitations to friends' weddings. I'm happy. I'm happy for us, for us all. I'm happy, grateful and proud to be able to call my best friend, my life partner, the one that lights the spark in my bonfire heart, my rock for nearly twenty years--my husband.

A Cold Night, Pen and Ink by Greg Alan Gerrans