I woke up at the Lake House this morning, my mind very heavy.  As I sit in the quiet drinking my black brew, I reflect upon recent days.  My thoughts are scrambled over the death of a colleague, a mentor, a friend.  I pray for the family he leaves behind.  My mind still fresh with its fragmented pieces of someone in our community that was gripped so tightly with mental illness, he sought one final solution to release its hold and find relief from the pain.  His beautiful memorial service still resonates with me.  I continue to pray for his family.

I do not fear death; I fear the surprise.  I fear its outcome as it leaves others behind.

Daily thoughts shift in my mind.  I think of two of my friends, so beautiful, so strong, so brave.  Beautiful women.

Does she recognize her own strength?  Does she recognize the beauty that others see?

Two different women.  Two journey's.  Each brutally honest.  Each bring laughter and joy to so many.   Each make me laugh.   Each touch my soul.

My mind so heavy, with thoughts of cancer.  I still carry the weight it leaves behind.  Anyone that's ever been touched, grabbed and shaken so intimately by its power, carries this.  Some manage to gather and pack it away, place it on a higher shelf and forget it about it.  But it's still there deep within your mind.  Cancer forever changes you.  And with each new story, that suitcase comes crashing down; its contents scatter and you begin the painstaking task of packing up the pieces and stuffing them back upon that shelf.  So many touched by its destruction.  Those that receive the diagnosis, receive with it a course of action; others are just along for the ride.  We aren't given a plan, a course.  We are to support, ride along without a seatbelt.  I pray for healing.  I pray for encouragement and light.  I pray family members find strength as they sometimes need it more.  I pray for hope, so many survivors.

And yet with all my mind is brimming, I think of a friend hurting.  Blind, I pray she may see.  May she hear, for my words are seen as judgement.  Through honesty and forgiveness, may she be humbled. I pray for her, her family.  Such pain they all feel.  May love heal and not blind us.

Life in this world is just a moment.  May we all shine bright and touch other's with our gifts, may they see our love, in the only moment we'll ever have together.