I couldn’t sleep last night; I tossed and turned and when my mind would finally quiet itself and I’d drift off to sleep, the dreams would begin. I’d wake, the thoughts would return and the cycle would repeat itself. Government shutdown. Déjà vu. Colonoscopy. Cancer.

On this day two of the government shutdown, I’m scheduled to have a colonoscopy. Sparked by recent events, chronic illness and prodded by my family to get in and have the procedure, I made a doctor’s appointment with the same gastroenterologist that found Greg’s cancer just two short months ago. Remarkably, now cancer free and with a follow up hospital procedures scheduled, we’re nearing the end of this journey and are looking forward to getting back to normal. But today, I look forward to putting my mind at ease and am hopeful to find answers for my own health concerns.

So after a day of fasting in preparation for today’s procedure, being furloughed from work and my anxiety in full gear—getting to sleep last night was difficult. I must admit I’m looking forward to the drugs today, shutting my mind down and sleep. Let the shutdown begin.